What is Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)?
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A typical love story usually goes like this: Person A falls in love with Person B, they date exclusively, and then get married. But, not all relationships need to follow this formula! So - what then?
This question is at the heart of consensual non-monogamy, also described as ethical non-monogamy (ENM), a term that describes relationships that are romantically or sexually open, with the consent of everyone involved.
Instead of dating one person who checks all the boxes for an ideal relationship, people who practice non-monogamy may seek out variables like sexual attraction, romance, parenting and lifestyle among different partner. For example, a person might have one partner who they co-parent with, another who helps them explore their sexuality and a third who simply shares their interests in rock climbing.
Relationships do not have to be boxed in by the societal expectation to remain monogamous. The only thing is that non-monogamous relationships require thorough communication and explicit consent from all parties involved. For example, if Person A desires to explore non-monogamy by having a physical relationship with someone other than their partner, Person B (a totally fine thing in itself!) it would be generally considered cheating if Person B was not aware this was happening, and did not explicitly consent to it.
If you've met someone who you're interested in dating, but you're in a monogamous relationship that you don't want to end, you have to talk about it with your partner.
It's best to tell them why you're interested in opening up your relationship and exploring non-monogamy. Maybe you're in a straight relationship and want to figure out your sexuality. Maybe you're figuring out your gender and want to form romantic relationships with people who are doing the same. Maybe you'd like to have more sexual partners - all of these reasons are fine, and you're not strange or weird for wanting to pursue non-monogamy!